This morning Ian and I decided, as we do many mornings, that we were hungry as hell and wanted some IHOP.
So after convincing me I didn’t need to shower to go out of the house, we head over there. I dreamt of pancakes the whole 10-minute ride, just remember their awesomeness from the last time I had them, which was on free pancake day.
We pull in the parking lot, and are met with our worst nightmare:
Churchies.
What appeared to be hundreds of folks fresh out of church services lined up outside the door waiting for their turn to stuff their face with my pancakes. Isn’t gluttony a sin? Apparently not on Sundays after church.
Shit, we muttered. We don’t want to wait AN HOUR for freaking pancakes. It’s already noon as it is.
Maybe we can hit Santa Fe instead? Nah, their lot is full, too, and we really, really want some pancakes. Well, Ian wants french toast.
So we decide to try Cracker Barrel* over by our house. It’s a gamble, since the Barrel is quite popular with the Churchies (probably moreso, I’d surmise, since it doesn’t have the air of “I was totally wasted like 3 hours ago and now I’m here at this 24-hour diner to get me some pancakes to sober up” like IHOP does), but by this time we had to have us some breakfast food.
We get to the Barrel, and the parking lot is full, but there are a few spaces near the front. We decide to give it a try, and when told the wait is 20-25 minutes we give in. Hell, we’ve made it this far in our quest for the cakes. Might as well wait another 20.
Finally our name is called, and we are seated. Fuck yes! Pancake time!! I am so excited.
Then it all starts to go downhill.
They don’t have regular french toast for Ian, only sourdough. I’m sorry, but who the hell wants to eat sourdough french toast? Last I heard sourdough made its name in San Francisco.
I order my coveted pancakes, but when they show up, they’re undercooked. And my bacon is fatty and probably not cooked all the way, either.
Blech.
Cracker Barrel might be good for downhome southern food, but they don’t know shit about breakfast. Even when fully cooked, their pancakes don’t hold a candle to IHOP’s. And the price? It was almost $20 for Ian and I to eat there. If we’d gone to IHOP, a similar order would’ve been about $12.
I still enjoy their beef stew and grilled cheese sandwiches, but as far as breakfast goes, IHOP totally pwns Cracker Barrel.
*Sorry to my friend Tabby, who serves at Cracker Barrel, for this post.
Tags: IHOP, Cracker Barrel, breakfast